How To Write Your Vows In 8 Steps

Deciding to spend forever with your partner, that’s easy. Writing your wedding vows on the other hand, that might leave you feeling a bit overwhelmed. If you and your significant other have decided to ditch tradition and write your own wedding vows, you may find yourself wondering exactly where to start. Maybe you’re struggling to find the right words or you’re feeling pressured to make it absolutely perfect. Whatever it may be, you’re not alone.

Whether you’re privately saying your vows in an intimate setting or reading them at the altar, here’s everything you need to know about writing wedding vows that’ll authentically represent your love.

Tips for Writing Wedding Vows

Before jumping right into writing your vows, here are some tips you should keep in mind:

To keep your wedding vows under the recommended three minutes, you don’t need to include every detail of your love story.
Keep a notes tab open on your phone to write things you might want to include that pop into your head.
Don't wait until the last minute to write your vows. Leave time for a trusted loved one to look over them and give edits.
Don’t re-write your vows over and over again, this will lose the authentic nature.
Don't worry about sounding cheesy. If it's genuine it won't sound cheesy.
Don’t fear humour, trust me, it’ll ease your nerves and add personality to your vows.
Make sure to say "I love you."
After finalizing your draft, make a fresh copy of your vows for the ceremony.

Steps to Write Memorable Vows

Now that you’ve read through all the must-know tips, it’s time to get the writing process started. But, don’t panic. I’ve got your back. With this step-by-step guide you’ll be able to create wedding vows that beautifully capture your love story in under three minutes.

Step 1: Get on the Same Page with Your Partner

From your wedding budget to your desired theme, making sure you and your partner are on the same page with every detail is so important during the wedding planning season. That’s why, before putting a pen to paper, I recommend sitting down with your partner to discuss the formatting of your vows. This will give you both a good starting base, and will make sure your vows are a similar tone and length.

Step 2: Ask Your Wedding Planner for Advice

One of the many benefits of hiring a wedding planner is having help every step of the way. Yes, this includes writing your vows. Don’t be embarrassed to ask your planner for advice before starting the writing process. Being one of the most frequently asked questions from nearlyweds, odds are they have all the tips that’ll help you create vows that reflect your unique love story.

Step 3: Reminisce Before Brainstorming

If your goal is to write unique, personality-packed vows, start by re-visiting some of your favorite memories. Swipe through old photos, watch cherished videos, and re-read old cards or text messages. Surrounding yourself with happy memories prior to creating your vows, will make the writing process that much easier.

Step 4: Start Your Vows by Introducing Your Partner

The first portion of your vows should be all about the person standing in front of you. Start off by stating who this person is to you—your best friend, your partner in crime, your travel buddy. You can also share how you first met. This is such a sweet way to add personality and authenticity right from the beginning.

Step 5: Include What You Love Most About Them

You’ve introduced your partner, now it’s time to pour out your heart. What is it that you love most about them? Maybe it’s that they always laugh at your jokes, even when they’re not funny. Maybe it’s because they always have the right words of encouragement.

If you find yourself a little stuck, try answering these questions to spark some ideas:

How did you meet?
Why are you marrying them?
What is it about them that you cannot live without?
What inspires you about your partner?
How have they changed you for the better?
What do you miss about them when they aren’t around?
What do you most admire about them?
When did you know you were in love?

After a little brainstorming, odds are you have a pretty hefty list. And it would be absolutely impossible to include everything you love about your significant other in your vows. To save your ceremony from going on and on forever, narrow it down to your top three to five.

Step 6: Acknowledge Your Guests

If you’re reading your vows at the altar, in front of loved ones, acknowledge your guests in your vows. You can address the group as a whole, or speak on specific individuals that have played a pivotal role in your love story.

Step 7: Make a Vow

Vows are promises you intend to keep to your partner, forever. While many couples stick with the traditional “in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer” readings, this won’t be the case for all. For those writing their own vows, you’ll have to incorporate your own commitments.

Need some inspiration? Here are some examples of vows you can make to your partner:

I vow to love you through the ups, downs, and everything in between.
I vow to cherish and appreciate you for the rest of our lives.
I vow to always put you first, even during football season.
I promise to continuously show you love and compassion.
I promise I will always have your favourite drink waiting when you get home from work

This is your chance to give your partner that reassurance. Reassure that you’ll always be there through the good times and bad. But don’t be afraid to mix in a little humour here as well.

Step 8: Practice Reading Your Wedding Vows

You’ve officially completed your wedding vows, congrats! Read the final version outloud to make sure it authentically captures your love and flows well. If you’re happy with the final results, stash your vows away and save them for the wedding day. Over practicing before the big day can eliminate the raw, authentic emotion.

And remember, when you’re standing at the altar, don’t forget to speak clearly, pause, cry, smile, laugh, and breathe—this isn't a speech.

Now that your vows are written, you’re ready for your big day. Well, almost. The last thing you need to secure is a day-of coordinator, link me (wink, wink). Not sure you have enough wiggle room in your budget? Check out these ways you can fit a wedding planner into any size budget.

Jennifer UngaroFebruary 24, 2023

How To Write Your Vows In 8 Steps

Whether you’re privately saying your vows in an intimate setting or reading them at the altar, here’s everything you need to know about writing wedding vows that’ll authentically represent your love.

Tips for Writing Wedding Vows

Before jumping right into writing your vows, here are some tips you should keep in mind:

To keep your wedding vows under the recommended three minutes, you don’t need to include every detail of your love story.

Keep a notes tab open on your phone to write things you might want to include that pop into your head.

Don't wait until the last minute to write your vows. Leave time for a trusted loved one to look over them and give edits.

Don’t re-write your vows over and over again, this will lose the authentic nature.

Don't worry about sounding cheesy. If it's genuine it won't sound cheesy.

Don’t fear humour, trust me, it’ll ease your nerves and add personality to your vows.

Make sure to say "I love you."

After finalizing your draft, make a fresh copy of your vows for the ceremony.

Now that you’ve read through all the must-know tips, it’s time to get the writing process started. But, don’t panic. I’ve got your back. With this step-by-step guide you’ll be able to create wedding vows that beautifully capture your love story in under three minutes.

You’ve introduced your partner, now it’s time to pour out your heart. What is it that you love most about them? Maybe it’s that they always laugh at your jokes, even when they’re not funny. Maybe it’s because they always have the right words of encouragement.

If you find yourself a little stuck, try answering these questions to spark some ideas:

How did you meet?

Why are you marrying them?

What is it about them that you cannot live without?

What inspires you about your partner?

How have they changed you for the better?

What do you miss about them when they aren’t around?

What do you most admire about them?

When did you know you were in love?

After a little brainstorming, odds are you have a pretty hefty list. And it would be absolutely impossible to include everything you love about your significant other in your vows. To save your ceremony from going on and on forever, narrow it down to your top three to five.

If you’re reading your vows at the altar, in front of loved ones, acknowledge your guests in your vows. You can address the group as a whole, or speak on specific individuals that have played a pivotal role in your love story.

Vows are promises you intend to keep to your partner, forever. While many couples stick with the traditional “in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer” readings, this won’t be the case for all. For those writing their own vows, you’ll have to incorporate your own commitments.

Need some inspiration? Here are some examples of vows you can make to your partner:

I vow to love you through the ups, downs, and everything in between.

I vow to cherish and appreciate you for the rest of our lives.

I vow to always put you first, even during football season.

I promise to continuously show you love and compassion.

I promise I will always have your favourite drink waiting when you get home from work

This is your chance to give your partner that reassurance. Reassure that you’ll always be there through the good times and bad. But don’t be afraid to mix in a little humour here as well.

And remember, when you’re standing at the altar, don’t forget to speak clearly, pause, cry, smile, laugh, and breathe—this isn't a speech.

Now that your vows are written, you’re ready for your big day. Well, almost. The last thing you need to secure is a day-of coordinator, link me (wink, wink). Not sure you have enough wiggle room in your budget? Check out these ways you can fit a wedding planner into any size budget.

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