How to Write the Perfect Wedding Speech
Photographer: Amanda Coldicutt Photography
Wedding speeches will always hold a special place in my heart. They are such a touching way for those important people to share their love and support for the couple tying the knot. And if you’ve played an important role in their lives, you might just be asked to say a few words during the reception. But don’t panic! While writing a wedding speech may seem daunting, I’m walking you through all the tips and tricks needed to pull off the perfect toast—even if public speaking is one of your biggest fears.
Who Gives A Speech At The Reception?
Traditionally speeches are given by the maid of honor, the best man, the father of the bride, and you (the newlyweds). But it’s important to remember that it’s your wedding, your rules. So if you want to switch it up, I’m in full support.
Wedding Speech Order Breakdown
When it comes time to create your wedding day timeline, don’t forget to leave room for speeches. In fact, you should plan out the speech order well in advance. And while every wedding will differ, you can use this breakdown as a starting guide to inspire and build your own timeline.
1. Father Of The Bride
Typically, the first toast is reserved for the father of the bride. This will start when the guests have found their seats, but before food is served. Kicking off the reception, the speech will start with a warm welcome to the guests, thanking them all for attending. Usually being one of the most touching toasts of the day, by the end of the speech, there won’t be a dry eye in sight. Cue the waterworks.
2. Maid Of Honor And Best Man
When all of your guests are seated and food has been served, let’s continue speeches. Maid of honor and best man, it’s your time to shine. Though these two speeches are typically given one after another, the order is completely up to you.
3. The Newlyweds
Right before the cake-cutting moment, when all eyes are still on you, it’s the perfect time to pause and say a few to your wedding guests. Express your appreciation and gratitude for everyone making time to celebrate with you on your big day.
Important Speech Writing Tips
Here are a few tips to keep in mind while writing your wedding speech:
Keep your speech under the five minutes mark.
Start writing your wedding speech as early as possible. This will leave ample time for a trusted loved one to look it over and give edits.
You want to cover a wide range of feelings during your speech. So don’t only stick to sad, sentimental, or funny stories.
Avoid inside jokes that guests won’t understand.
Skip the embarrassing stories.
Focus on both parties, making it personal to both the bride and the groom.
Rehearse your wedding speech, but don’t memorize it. This will take away the authentic nature.
Steps To Write The Perfect Wedding Speech
Now that you’ve read through all the must-know tips, it’s time to get started on the writing process. While toasts by the bride and groom tend to use a different template, this step-by-step guide will help all others create an unforgettable wedding speech.
Step 1: Brainstorm
Before jumping right into writing your speech, take some time to brainstorm. This is your chance to jot down any and all things that pop into your head regarding the couple. Write out what you love most about the couple, cherished memories, or even funny (family-friendly) stories. And while brainstorming may feel a little messy, these scattered thoughts will later be used to create the perfect wedding speech.
If you find yourself in a bit of a creative rut, try answering these questions to spark some ideas:
How did you meet them both?
How did you feel when you first met them?
What do you love most about them as individuals and as a couple?
What are some of your favorite memories with the couple?
If you had to give someone advice on how to make the bride or groom happy, what would you say?
Step 2: Start By Introducing Yourself
Remember, your audience will be a mix of friends and family from both sides. This means there are bound to be some unfamiliar faces in the crowd. That’s why I always recommend starting your wedding speech off with a little introduction—state your name, your relation to the couple, and your role in the wedding.
Step 3: Make It Personal
After introductions are taken care of, share a personal anecdote about the bride or groom. You can get the crowd laughing with a joke or pull on their heartstrings with a sweet story. Revisiting cherished memories like these will add a personalized touch and really take your speech to the next level. This is where your brainstorming will really come in handy.
If you’re the father of the bride, share touching childhood stories. For the maid of honor or best man speeches, share memories that boost the couple, highlighting what you love most about them in a sentimental way. While it is okay to add humour, remember to keep it family-friendly and stay away from those extra embarrassing stories.
Step 4: Include What You Love Most About Their Relationship
Up until this point, you’ve primarily focused on just one-half of the couple. And now that you’ve shared your sentimental stories, dive into what it is you love most about their relationship. Why are these two made for each other? How do they complement each other? How has their relationship impacted your life?
Step 5: Toast To The Couple
The ending is where you pop the champagne and tie it all together. Give your well wishes to the couple. Then, wrap up your speech by asking the guests to raise their glasses and toast to the newlyweds.
Tips For Delivering Your Speech
You’ve written and practiced your speech, but when the day rolls around you’re still incredibly nervous. You’re not alone, trust me. While public speaking isn’t everyone’s forte, here are a few tips I’ve picked up that’ll help you deliver your speech with confidence:
After finalizing your draft, make a set of cue cards to hold during your speech.
When delivering your speech, hold the microphone in your non-dominant hand. This’ll give your dominant hand a full range of motion and avoid the microphone from moving.
When you make a joke, let people laugh. If you continue speaking through laughter, guests won’t hear the next part of your speech.
Wedding speeches aren’t the only heartfelt words the couple will have to share on their big day. If you and your fiancé have decided to ditch tradition and write your own wedding vows, then you’ll also have to add those to your to-do list. Starting to feel a bit overwhelmed? To help calm your nerves, here’s everything you need to know about writing wedding vows that authentically represent your love.
Photographer: Amanda Coldicutt Photography